we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
