She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
