btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
