...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
