omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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