YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Randomize
