he wants to bone in the snuggie
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
