There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
