Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
