She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
My ass is underappreciated
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
