One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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