if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize
