Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
