I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Alive.
So much puke
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Randomize
