dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
