Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
