Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
