I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
