We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
