My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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