Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize