And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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