I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
