drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I could make wine with my vomit
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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