Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
