Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
