Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize