I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
