I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
