You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
they need to just BURY HIM!
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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