First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
