i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
