I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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