we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
You ate ashes out of my bong
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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