i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Randomize
