Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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