i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
