This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
i am craving dick and cupcakes
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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