It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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