I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Everything about him screamed your future.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
