I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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