i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
it's like iHOP with fire
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
