i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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