Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
