My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
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