i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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