I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
