My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
