So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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