to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
