If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
