i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I could make wine with my vomit
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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