Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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