it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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