Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
