she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
