so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
