I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize