just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
