it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
