Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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