I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Randomize
